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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23579539">Not Me.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Technomite/pseuds/Technomite'>Technomite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Esteem Issues, Species Dysphoria, Speech Disorders, Stuttering</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:01:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,913</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23579539</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Technomite/pseuds/Technomite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kai wakes up in a world he doesn't recognise, with creatures he doesn't recognise and in a body that he hates. It's not him. It never will be. Can he live like this? A mystery dungeon fic that wants to explore what it would be like for the protagonist to be incompatible with his new pokemon body, and to have problems working it out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Waking up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story wants to explore what it could be like for someone who was placed into the mystery dungeon universe who really does not like being a pokemon. Instead of an instant adaption he must learn how his new body functions conciously from an outsiders perspective instead of intuitive control.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Waking up</strong>
</p><p>It was pitch black.</p><p>He couldn't see anything. There was nothing but this <em>squeezing</em> feeling, as though he was being slowly shoved down a tight tube.</p><p>It was horrible.</p><p>Until he felt. Until he <em>was.</em> Though he wasn't sure what he was before. All he knew other than this was that he felt <em>wrong</em>.</p><p>His eyes creaked open, the light was overwhelming. He awkwardly raised his arms to his face rubbing at his eyes roughly. They focused more as he took in the sight of the clearing around him. Had he woken from a dream? He honestly couldn't tell. One thing he was sure of however was that he was in a clearing.</p><p>In the middle of nowhere.</p><p>Eyes reduced to pinpricks, he frantically shook his head. Where was he? What was he doing here? His breath grew quicker and he felt a rising pressure at the back of his skull. His head hurt like his brain was being squashed. His arms shook and writhed. He couldn't breathe properly. He really needed to calm down and assess the situation. Whatever has happened, he needs to know now. With his head still bursting with pain, he intuitivly reached towards his head to twist his hair to relieve some stress, but all he could claw at was some soft furry protrusions and short fluffy hair. That was <em>not</em> normal. The throbbing intensified, and he twisted the protrusions with a vice like grip -</p><p>"p-pain c-c-c-cancels out p-pain, " he grunted.</p><p>This was a bad idea. Yanking these weird fluffy things round just caused the head splitting headache to become worse before he retched a burning multicoloured liquid from his mouth, and promptly blacked out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Shattered</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Shattered</strong>
</p>
<p>A disgruntled pikachu trudged through the forest, dragging his feet across the ground, long grass tickling his ears and legs drenched in mud. Taking in the bright afternoon sky for a second, he pondered his day. It really had not gone well. Not at all. He'd tried for the third time this month to get a place in the Garchomp guild. Too small the first time. Too weak the second time. He didn't even get into the building before being laughed at by the bellsprout at the gate this time. He really was dejected. Even a spindly stick of a pokemon laughed at him! Why was he so weak? He trained for ages and tried his hardest but he could barely fry a magikarp with his thunder - his strongest move!</p>
<p>What was wrong with him? Garchomp's piercing words rang in his head: "We don't need liabilities" They rounded in his head like a chorus of echoed whispers, refusing to die down. How did he fail so many times? Why was he such a big liability?</p>
<p>"Perhaps you would be more suited to working at the Lucario cafe?" Garchomp had chuckled, not even taking him seriously anymore "I hear lady Lucario's looking for some cute little servers!" He added with a wink</p>
<p>Why did everyone have to put him down? Why can't small pokemon be powerful? Why can't they be famous adventurers too? Pikachu just couldn't help what his body yearned for. If only it wasn't so powerless. So tiny. So cute!</p>
<p>Being sprayed with mud by some stupid prankster whooper after running out of the gates of Garchomp's dream destroying session had only capped his morning off. they laughed at him - and they didn't even have arms! His thunder wouldn't have even done anything, they could easily ground his electricity and would have just hobbles away, even more satisfied and giggly. Perhaps his special clearing spot would help ease his mind. It was his special spot. The afternoon <em>could</em> be better.</p>
<p>He padded off towards the open space. He had much more of a skip in his step, hoping for a better end to his poor start. He hopped over a few brambles and skittered past some sleeping starvavias. he didn't wish to disturb them - they might get mad if he did! Pushing some brush apart, he sighed. His spot. No one else comes here (at least he hasn't seen anyone else here).</p>
<p>The tranquility was divine. It was filled with purple and pink flowers, soft on the belly and even softer on the eyes. He could smell the scent of a hundred colours and become lost in the tangs of all the pollen. One could become overwhelmed in the elegance of such a place. There was a single darkened tree that almost learned against the ground, so crooked it was as though it too had fallen for the beauty of the place. Leaves covered it and sheltered those underneath its hold. Pikachu liked to crawl up beside it, his head resting on the flowers with his back leaned upon the base of the tree. This would be bliss. He would do so straight away, and become entranced by the almost sickening yet calming presence of the flora. He started making his way towards the tree. He made sure to smell as many of the flowers - take in the scent of serenity...</p>
<p>Until he saw a disheveled riolu. It was slumped against the tree - awkwardly limp - with a sickly purply blue gold liquid dripping from its mouth. It looked like it hadn't been groomed - ever - and had a closing look of pain twisted onto its face. Pikachu's ears twitched. He froze, and stared for a few seconds. 'Is it dead?' he thought, rubbing his paws together, 'Did he just stumble upon a dead pokemon? Will anyone think it was me? Can I help it? Is it DEAD?'</p>
<p>"Calm down," he breathed to himself, "The flowers are watching. Smell the scent. Breathe,".</p>
<p>He rushed to the 'dead' riolu, bounding on all fours. He got up and pawed over its arms, and ran his paws over its chest checking him for injuries. It didn't stir. Its fur was spiked and rough on touch - perhaps from a lack of self care? Luckily, he noticed its chest still rising and sharply falling and a lack of anything broken or bleeding. He breathed a small sigh. It wasn't dead. Great.</p>
<p>He looked up the body. The pokemon's eyes were still open. Pikachu recoiled after he had noticed. 'Had he just touched up a pokemon that he found ditched in a forest?' He thought to himself. They didn't follow his movements, nor did they seem to be particularly alert. He cautiously waved a paw over them. Nothing. They were very strange. One was a deep red, very standard. The other a piercing green. Very different. Was he shiny? He didn't appear much different. Still blue with black patches here and there.</p>
<p>Pikachu took a step back from the fallen riolu. Should he run back and get help? Would that be a good idea? What if he had internal injuries, something he couldn't see or feel? Maybe he could wake him and ask him if he's hurting anywhere? He gave an arm a tug, both of his short forelimbs wrapped around the appendage. He gave a yank. And another. The pokemon didn't even move. He really was weak. And out of breath. He really ought to get someone, but what if a malicious pokemon found it? What would they do? He really didn't want to think about this. Perhaps his electricity could wake him? Would that help? His red cheek pouches crinkled and crackled with sparks. He rubbed his paws together, sparks enveloping them. He stuck a tiny digit out and poked the riolu on the side of his ribs.</p>
<p>"Gahhhhhhhh!" It yelled, arms flailing, before settling on its head, "m-m-my he-ead, " It groaned helplessly as it started to shake.</p>
<p>Ears folded and floppy, Pikachu stepped over the riolu and raised a paw to its shoulder. He took a breath.</p>
<p>"I found you… d-dead looking next to this tree. Do you know how you got here? Oh! And I'm Pikachu!" he squeaked tentatively.</p>
<p>Pupils shrinking, the riolu jerked its head at pikachu. Its eyes widened, its Aura sensors crackled and jumped and aura spurted from its red eye. Its mouth twisted into a confused O shape. Brows furrowed and its forehead wrinkled.</p>
<p>"W-w-what the he-e-ell are you?" he croaked, "And w-w-whe-e-e... What a-am I?"</p>
<p>Pikachu rubbed the back of his head with vigor.</p>
<p>Today would be a long day.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading this second chapter. All reviews are most certainly appreciated, they will help me write this story the best I can.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. What am I?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>What Am I?</strong>
</p>
<p>"Gahhhhhhhh!" he shrieked, arms flapping, before settling on its head, "m-m-my he-head, " he groaned helplessly as he shook in shock.</p>
<p>He had awoken to a sharp zap in his side and a loud crackle stinging his ears. His eyes were very dry and felt as though they'd been washed with sand.. He blinked a few times - painfully - trying to get rid of whatever he felt was lodged inside.</p>
<p>As his dazed eyes focused, he heard a panic stricken voice;</p>
<p>"I found you… d-dead looking next to this tree. Do you know how you got here?" it squeaked, " Oh! And I'm Pikachu!".</p>
<p>He jerked his head towards the shy voice he heard. His face crumpled. Huh? He saw a smallish yellow rat with red spots on its cheeks and beady eyes that darted around, looking rather worried about something. Did this… thing speak to him? Could rats speak? Where was he? Was it… worried for him? Is that why he felt so rough? And what's this burning liquid that dripped from his mouth?</p>
<p>He knew something was wrong. His arms felt too short, his ears were in the wrong spot and he had these weird dangly things flopped at the side of his head. He regretted twisting them. Something in his mind had told him that this was wrong. But why couldn't he remember <em>what it was</em>.</p>
<p>He gulped. Would it understand him?</p>
<p>
  <em>"W-w-what the he-e-ell are you?" he croaked, "And w-w-whe-e-e... What a-am I?".</em>
</p>
<p>He cursed his tongue silently. What was wrong with his mind? Why couldn't he speak properly? Why did it take so long! His words seemed to echo across his mouth, refusing to leave.</p>
<p>The beady eyed rat twisted its head to the side.</p>
<p>"Uhh.. well I'm a Pikachu!" the rat answered, "your eyes were open while you slept, can you not see properly?".</p>
<p>Pikachu's eyebrows were raised - 'he looks very nervous,' he thought.</p>
<p>He stared at the rat for a few seconds.</p>
<p>It was a bit blurry. But there was no mistaking his mind's baron space. He could search, but there was nothing. A blank slate. Perhaps a few etchings, vague scratchings into the surface. But he couldn't recall anything. Nothing specific.</p>
<p>He wrung his mind, searching for whatever this… this creature was.</p>
<p>Nothing.</p>
<p>"A Pik-k-k-k," He stammered, screwing his tired eyes shut, "A Pik-kah-kah...chu?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, it's my name too! you got it but.." The Pikachu trailed off, turning his face a bit. He looked a bit pained.</p>
<p>"Did you hurt your head" he asked, "You sound… off..".</p>
<p>He looked at pikachu a bit desperately. He felt pathetic. He couldn't even speak properly and he didn't know what he was.</p>
<p>He thought back. He vaguely remembered twisting these fleshy sacks on his head, vomiting and blacking out. He didn't think he smacked his head against anything, and he woke up slumped uncomfortably against a tree. Perhaps he fell? But from where? And how? There were too many questions and no answers. He felt the frustration rising and felt a burning sensation in his throat. Something was coming up. It might have been more of that gross stuff trying to pour from his mouth.</p>
<p>He spat something horrible onto the ground, burning his mouth. He looked at pikachu a bit more desperately.</p>
<p>Pikachu took a step back and took a paw to his chin.</p>
<p>"Well, if you really forgot, I think you're a Riolu, though I don't really know much about you guys." He mentioned.</p>
<p>Riolu stared at Pikachu. That didn't sound right. It didn't check out in his head.</p>
<p>"Riolus are pretty rare and I havn't seen one since Lady Lucario evolved,". He added.</p>
<p>A grin spread across Pikachu's face. It felt infectious. It looked confident. As though he just worked something out. He must have had an idea.</p>
<p>"I think I know someone who could help!" Pikachu said, standing on his hind legs. "Maybe <em>she</em> can help you!".</p>
<p>He looked far more confident now.</p>
<p>Pikachu grinned. His paws were against his hips. His pose reeked of confidence.</p>
<p>It was <em>almost</em> reassuring.</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <strong>Almost.</strong>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>If it didn't look painted on.</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reviewing my story. If you have any suggestions, grammar issues, tell me and I'll have a look into my story and see what can be improved</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. K is for Kai</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>K is for Kai</strong>
</p>
<p>Riolu wasn't exactly inspired by the pose Pikachu struck, but it gave him some confidence Pikachu knew how to help him. He felt his mouth pulling at the sides. He felt some satisfaction. It was warm; his frustration quelled slightly. The burning in his throat receded - only a bit - and gave him a chance to breathe. To calm down. To think more clearly.</p>
<p>Seeing his slight smile, Pikachu's ears rose. Pointing a paw to his forehead and scratching it a little, Pikachu opened his mouth;</p>
<p>"You didn't know what you were" He stated "And I think you hurt your head, you seem out of it,"</p>
<p>"Do you know who you are?" he added.</p>
<p>Riolu gave a pained, pitfall expression to Pikachu. He wasn't quite sure. Though his mind felt clearer, it was still surrounded by a dense fog. He closed his eyes and placed a hand over his face. He needed answers. He wanted to know who he was - why was this so hard to remember. It was almost painful to query who he was.</p>
<p>'Who am I?' He thought to himself.</p>
<p>He pushed himself up, leaning an arm on the tree. It helped him sit up. Annoyingly, Riolu noticed an uncomfortable boney thing digging into his lower back.</p>
<p>'A tail?' he asked himself.</p>
<p>He shifted slightly, grunting as he pushed himself forwards, getting this thing out from underneath him. He'll threat about this later. Pikachu was still staring at him, his smile wavering slightly, beady eyes still looking into him as though expecting an answer.</p>
<p>He scratched his ears, feeling an odd feeling of comfort in the action. It seemed to help him think. It felt familiar - something he must have done habitually.</p>
<p>It must have had some kind of connection to who he was. He felt a wave of nausea that span his mind. It felt like some of the mist was lifted from his head. His green eye dilated. He saw a large being. It was black as tar with small glowing orbs in its shoulders.</p>
<p>"Wrong human. 'Kai'. That's the wrong name. Just dump him down there. Don't waste time giving him one," It boomed, distorted and gravely.</p>
<p>'Is that who I am? Kai?' He wondered, 'and what is that thing?'.</p>
<p>It turned to stare at him.</p>
<p>He trembled, and let out a choked gasp. He was surprised at how real it looked.</p>
<p>Untill he saw Pikachu.</p>
<p>His other eye seemed still focused on keeping tabs on pikachu, who started to trot in his direction.</p>
<p>'He must have heard me, ' Kai thought to himself.</p>
<p>Kai snapped out of his stupor. The weird vision faded to wisps. He'd tell pikachu his name. He would omit the vision however - he didn't wish to appear insane. Even if he probably was.</p>
<p>"Did you forget your name too?" Asked Pikachu, perhaps a little impatiently.</p>
<p>Kai scratched his ear, a little harder this time.</p>
<p>"Uhh" He started nervously. He really didn't want to stammer this time.</p>
<p>"I think-k-k-k (damn) I, uh, r-remember.".</p>
<p>"That's great, what is It?" Pikachu replied excitedly.</p>
<p>"I-I think-k-k It's…" Kai begun, squeezing his eyes shut.</p>
<p>"It's K-k-k…"</p>
<p>He took a breath.</p>
<p>"It-it's k-k-kai"</p>
<p>He didn't want to say that again.</p>
<p>Even though he was sure that Pikachu was the only other…thing near him he felt as though there were many eyes on him. He felt rather small.</p>
<p>Pikachu was going to laugh.</p>
<p>He was so pathetic. He didn't know anything, he felt odd and could barely say his own name. Adding to that, he was seeing things. He was insane! He <em>was</em> tiny.</p>
<p>Pikachu smiled at him, wide and open, eyes glowing.</p>
<p>"That's a great name, Kai!"</p>
<p>Kai flinched slightly in surprise. He was ready to be chastised. To be made fun of.</p>
<p>It didn't come.</p>
<p>Pikachu held out a paw.</p>
<p>"Grab my paw, " he said, "I'll help you,".</p>
<p>Kai gave a meek smile and nodded</p>
<p>Maybe he could lead him to answers</p>
<p>He knew someone who could help him.</p>
<p>Apparently.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you have any feedback or suggestions leave a review. Updates will probably be short due to short attention span, lol.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. First Steps</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>First steps</strong>
</p>
<p>Kai looked up. He took Pikachu's paw in his grasp and he felt himself yanked as he heard a grunt of effort. He quickly bounced over to Kai and reached up in an effort to stabilise him.</p>
<p>"Are you okay to stand by yourself?" Pikachu asked, an eyebrow raised.</p>
<p>"I'll - I th-think-k-k-k I'll manage, " Kai replied, his eyes closing in concentration.</p>
<p>"Right.." started Pikachu.</p>
<p>He didn't look at all convinced.</p>
<p>"Let's go then".</p>
<p>Pikachu slowly backed off and stood a few steps away. He really was not convinced. His ears twitched a little. This weird riolu had problems speaking, was acting weird and apparently had brain damage. He really wasn't sure about this. He twisted a smile onto his face. He couldn't let this vulnerable pokemon know he lacked confidence in him. He could help. He looked into Kai's eyes and willed that he could do this. He really didn't feel like carrying a riolu all the way to the cafe…</p>
<p>Kai wobbled forwards onto his toes, flowers tickling his toes. Kai almost flinched. That was weird. He had his arms splayed out in a weak effort to control for his balance. His knees were too far up, his thighs were short and his ankles were where he thought his knees were supposed to be. It was a weird sensation - almost like having knees that bent backwards. He could feel everything - it was all clearly there - but it was just… wrong. He tried to lower himself to his heels but found it very uncomfortable and strangely unnatural. It hurt. He felt his muscles taught under stress. Kai quickly shifted back to his toes.</p>
<p>When he tried to stand straight - how he felt most familiar - Kai noted his legs straining. They seemed intent on sitting in a sort of cushioned, arched stance much like a kangaroo's.</p>
<p>Kai didn't even know what a kangaroo was but apparently they hopped</p>
<p>Why did he even know they hopped? Why couldn't he see what they looked like? Why was it blank? He rubbed at his ears nervously.</p>
<p>He hoped he didn't have to hop. That would be embarrassing. He relaxed his tensing (he was tensed?) and his legs gave a little and lowered themselves. That seemed more natural for his legs. More comfortable - not right but comfortable.</p>
<p>It still felt strange.</p>
<p>He was now caught in two minds. Did he hop or did he take a step? Whatever felt more natural to him never seemed to be right for this weird body, should he try something different? Maybe he was insane.</p>
<p>He sighed, eyes looking up. Kai scratched his ears and got ready for his first step - or hop.</p>
<p>He bent his knees or ankles. Whatever they were and tried to give a small hop. Still undecided, midway through the jump he seemed to have some misgivings and tried to take a step forward resulting in a short, bouncy step.</p>
<p>Bad decision.</p>
<p>He lost all semblance of balance and crashed into the ground.</p>
<p>Pikachu put his face into his paws. He just watched a riolu stand, wobble, flail his arms around, bend his ankles, stand up straight, look perplexed then make the odd decision to jump, realise halfway through that he couldn't, then crash into the ground like an idiot.</p>
<p>Luckily Kai had landed on some soft grass which cushioned his fall. He was on his knees, breathing heavily with his arms in front of him, supporting his weight. He looked up, met the rat's eyes and saw it start giggling.</p>
<p>Pikachu snorted. He couldn't hold it in. He really didn't want to. But he let out a giggle. He saw Kai give him a defeated look.</p>
<p>Pikachu felt like an idiot. He felt like a terrible person. He couldn't even help himself. What did that say about him? He really was a liability. He looked back, it was an easy exit. He could run.</p>
<p>He could forget this blemish had happened.</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>He was probably making too much of a big deal out of this.</p>
<p>Anyone would have laughed, right?</p>
<p>He'll stay and help.</p>
<p>Kai rubbed at his ears, looking away from Pikachu. He really was pathetic. He couldn't walk, sounded like a moron, was insane and couldn't even remember what he was. There was nothing but etchings in his head. His ears started to ring. His vision started to blur. It wasn't fair! He tried - he really did but he still messed up. He was stupid. He couldn't do anything right. His stupid mind couldn't find anything to latch onto, he couldn't calm down. Something was bubbling up to his head. It felt like something was crushing it. He had to let it out. He couldn't think straight, not that he could think very straight anyway, but this was different. He could only focus on how frustrated he was feeling. Everything else was blocked. How could he get rid of this? He raised his arm. He was smouldering in blue flames. It burned. How could he rid himself of this? His mind was blanking out. He had to get rid of all of this frustration.</p>
<p>How could it go away?</p>
<p>Looking down, he punched the ground with ferocity. His teeth were bared. His eyes were cutting. He Failed to do even the simplest things. He could definitely hit the ground.</p>
<p>That was easy enough for him</p>
<p>His throat burned.</p>
<p>Instead of shrinking into a ball or burying himself in the dirt beneath to hide away from everything - something he felt like he'd do in any other situation.</p>
<p>He punched the ground again.</p>
<p>And again.</p>
<p>The burning grew stronger, but it spread to his arms. He saw blue. It came from his eyes. More smokey wisps emerged from his hands. It peaked from his eyes. All he could feel was pure rage, the frustration had stretched him too far. It was completely uncontrollable. He felt no other inclinations, his heart simply cried out to rid itself of its pressure. It had to leave. So he screamed and kept punching.</p>
<p><em>Again</em>.</p>
<p>And <em>again</em>.</p>
<p>He glowed.</p>
<p>There was a fire burning across his eyes. They were burning a deranged fury.</p>
<p>"When I look into my head!" He shrieked.</p>
<p>
  <em>Thump</em>
</p>
<p>"<strong>There is nothing</strong><strong>!</strong>"</p>
<p>
  <em>Thump</em>
</p>
<p>"<em>Why</em>?" He roared, voice cracking.</p>
<p>He let out a deranged roar. A guttural scream. He was feral.</p>
<p>But as quick as the anger took him, and held him by the throat it had left him. And what remained was a fearful, scared being.</p>
<p>It was all gone now. All of the anger was gone. It was just despair. The blue smoke, the glow - it all abruptly disappeared. And with it his rage dissipated. As though it had been fueled by his feelings. It was just empty grief.</p>
<p>He couldn't morn anything - he had never experienced anything - all he could grieve was his lack of memories. And it killed him.</p>
<p>He couldn't bear it. He buried his face into his fists and screamed.</p>
<p>"W-why am I-I s-s-so <em>useless? </em>". He cried, muffled within his hands, drenched with tears</p>
<p>Pikachu looked on with absolute horror.</p>
<p>This pokemon had heard his reaction and completely lost it. It had lost every sense of self and screeched. It had pounded the ground seemingly fueled only by it's anger. It had become feral in an instant. He had caused it to snap.</p>
<p>Was it his fault? Was it insane?</p>
<p>Was it a mix of both?</p>
<p>He didn't want to think about it.</p>
<p>He had just watched this pokemon who seemed meek and confused obliterate the ground around it with no effort seemingly fueled by its rage and frustrations. An extreme meltdown. He hadn't even seen this temper in a dragon before.</p>
<p>He was stricken by its words. His ears had flopped and his eyes widened. How would he feel if he couldn't remember anything? He couldn't bear thinking about it. He wasn't close to many people, but to think of losing everything and everyone he knew would make him distraught. He'd lose himself too.</p>
<p>He was guilty of his jealousy of this power. He was apparently weaker than a pokemon who couldn't even walk. He was ashamed. He wanted what Kai had, even if it had amounted to nothing. He hated himself for it.</p>
<p>He sighed.</p>
<p>He needed to help this pokemon.</p>
<p>As Garchomp had pointed out, it was his only redeeming attribute. He was good at talking.</p>
<p>He wished it wasn't.</p>
<p>He failed with a blank slate, and now it was probably turned against him.</p>
<p>For once, he forewent the confident smile he had when helping people and trudged over to Kai.</p>
<p>Maybe he could try to comfort him, take him to the cafe and leave him there.</p>
<p><em>He'd</em> already done enough damage.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you enjoy this chapter. Hopefully it's long enough and has no mistakes. I checked it ovrler a few times and seemed good to me. If you have any suggestions or feedback put a review in. Thanks for reading.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Second Attempt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Second attempt</strong>
</p><p>Pikachu plodded carefully towards Kai. He wasn't sure how to approach him. He knew a confidant bravado would just irritate him further - he didn't want to make him feel any worse than he clearly already did. He could see Kai's body quivering every few seconds - he must have been incredibly upset. He could see the sobs vibrating through his body. He was shaking back and forth rhythmically. Pikachu must have really hurt him.</p><p>Ugh, he felt so bad. Maybe he really should take up a job at the Lucario cafe. At least then he wouldn't have to try to be something he wasn't - big, strong and powerful; something he certainly wasn't. He could still hear Kai's warbling wails muffled in his paws. They sounded wretched and longing. It was like someone had died.</p><p>Something that had bothered Pikachu somewhat however was how… emotionally unstable this Riolu was. The permanent state of confusion he seemed to be in - how nervous he was. The only one of his kind he had met, Lady Lucario, was incredibly calm and collected and thoroughly logical - he'd never seen her have <em>any</em> sort of emotional outburst before! It was so strange.</p><p>Pikachu knew that Kai couldn't remember much of anything.</p><p>But how could that have happened? He didn't stammer when he was enraged. Perhaps he didn't hit his head. Maybe his brain wasn't broken, but that didn't explain why he was so… not right? He couldn't even walk. He seemed to lack basic anatomy on how his own body worked. And he wasn't exactly a baby - they were much smaller. They didn't talk much either.</p><p>Maybe he wasn't seeing the whole picture. He should slow down. He should ask him. He should speak to him. Do what everyone else thought he was best at.</p><p>Talking.</p><p>Kai was distraught. He'd finally stopped sobbing and instead took up a gentle rocking. He felt a comforting reassurance from the repetition.</p><p>Forwards.</p><p>Backwards.</p><p>He rubbed his hands together. That was strange. He could have sworn he had 5 fingers earlier. Did he imagine them? They seemed more like… strange paws - nubby digits. He could wiggle and flex the digits, but they lacked a thumb and the dexterity he felt he should. How had he not noticed before? He opened and closed his (fists?) a few times. The lack of a thumb was making this unfamiliar - he couldn't imagine how awkward it would be to grab something without one. There was also a sort of bony thing sticking out from the back of his wrist. He was sure he hadn't broken it. He checked the second one to make sure. No. This must have been normal - somehow. Rubbing them was relaxing - it helped him focus.</p><p>Still strange.</p><p>He looked up - away from them - and rubbed his knees (did he even still have knees?).</p><p>Ugh. Why was everything so confusing? Why didn't he feel like him? It was all so frustrating! These new legs bent at unfamiliar angles. He'd kicked his legs out softly and he couldn't even rest them. They bent in slightly, not lying straight.</p><p>He felt like he could pull his fur off, he was scratching at his wrists so hard. It wasn't doing much to calm his nerves. And he wasn't going to twist the fleshy blobs at the sides of his head. That was too painful. What were these for? They just dangled and flapped. There wasn't even a vague memory in his mind. It turned out that pain didn't cancel out pain anyway, It just made him faint.</p><p>'The pain still went away.' A sly part of his mind thought.</p><p>When he had screamed and punched, all of the bubbled feelings had come out at once;</p><p>they had surfaced and Kai had choked on the thundering emotions he had felt. He had no clue what had come over him. He hadn't been able to control his actions. Why? Why had he reacted so ferociously to something so seemingly innocent? He knew nothing, yet even he could admit he looked weird as he wobbled and fell. It was like his body had reacted to the rage and frustration from being this… thing. It probably had little to do with Pikachu's giggle</p><p>Like he had overloaded - there was no more space to store it.</p><p>Though without this build up he felt an odd clarity. When his sobbing had ceased he could feel himself. It was as though a burden was lifted off his mind. It made him feel lighter. He no longer felt his throat was overwhelmed with fire. But instead he could feel fur tingling his skin like spiders creeping and crawling. It was ever present and focusing on it made his throat burn. He noted the warmth it gave him - compared to how naked he felt without clothes.</p><p>He hid a look at Pikachu, then back at himself. Pikachu wasn't wearing any clothes either. He guessed it wasn't out of the ordinary here to not wear anything, though it did seem strange. Despite his inability to remember wearing clothes, he still felt uncovered. He couldn't see anything unsavoury to look at on his person, but it still wasn't comfortable. That would take some getting used to. He looked down, and shut his eyes. He really needed to get used to this</p><p>The fur on his body was just not supposed to be there.</p><p>Opening his eyes with a sigh, he spotted Pikachu slowly making his way towards him - ears floppy and miserable. Kai reckoned he felt bad for laughing.</p><p>Kai didn't think it was a big deal. He was still hurt though.</p><p>Pikachu lowered himself next to Kai. He took a seat. He still rocked and rubbed his paws together. Kai edged away slightly. He felt a little too close. He stopped rocking in an attempt to seem polite. Maybe he was being a bit weird.</p><p>Pikachu's face fell into a frown for a second. Only for a second. It quickly masked itself.</p><p>"Should we start over?" Pikachu asked.</p><p>Kai stooped his head over and turned it to face Pikachu.</p><p>"Sh-sh-sure."</p><p>"Excellent," Pikachu started, trying to smile, "I'm Pikachu."</p><p>"Uh-uhm, Oh-okay." Replied Kai.</p><p>He was looking down at his paws. They were twisting and gliding over one another.</p><p>"Right… What's your name?" Pikachu asked politely. His smile was drawn on.</p><p>Kai scratched at the bony things on his arm.</p><p>"It-it's… Uhm." He stammered.</p><p>He squished his eyes shut.</p><p>"It's k-k-k-k-Kai."</p><p>That hurt to say. It almost burned his mouth when leaving his throat. As though it contaminated the air he breathed.</p><p>If his bony things were softer they would have been worn down to the skin. Or his arm bone. Whatever was under them.</p><p>Pikachu must have noticed his nervous… rubbing. He caught him glance at his wrists, twitched his ears and then felt one of Pikachu's paws upon his shoulder. He must have been trying to comfort him.</p><p>"Hey, uhh… don't say it if you don't want to."</p><p>"I <em>w-want </em>to...to say i-it," he began, "B-but it j-just doesn't c-c-cuh-come out."</p><p>He didn't realise he was rocking again until he felt Pikachu's paw brush against his fur.</p><p>Pikachu looked at him for a second, considering his words before speaking again;</p><p>"That must be frustrating"</p><p>Kai considered him for a second. He did seem trustworthy.</p><p>"It's all I c-c-cuh-can rem-remember," He moaned, "it-it's all I h-have and I c-cuh-cuh-can't ev-even say it prop-p...properly."</p><p>His tongue failed him.</p><p>"I c-can't even remember-ber anything."</p><p>His head sunk</p><p>"Kai."</p><p>He looked up and saw Pikachu looking at him.</p><p>"Tell me everything."</p><p>"I want to help."</p><p>"Please trust me."</p><p>Pikachu was looking right into his eyes now. He didn't feel like he could stop venting now. He could feel it building up within him. Perhaps talking could rid him of this.</p><p>"I don't think-k-k-k I'm a..a R-Riolu"</p><p>"M-my body doesn't f-feel right, I don't rem-remember having a t-tail or these w-w-weird blobby things on th-the side of my head." Kai tried to explain; he fiddled with the blobby things.</p><p>"My l-legs bend th-the wrong way."</p><p>"I f-feel like I-I'm in the wr-wrong body. And I know a thing about the one I'm in. "</p><p>"That really… must be difficult" Pikachu begun, "I think I know someone who <em>might </em>be able to help you - more specifically with your body. I only really know about Pikachus - because I'm one myself. She's had experience being a Riolu. Maybe this is a Riolu thing. "</p><p>"I could take you to her."</p><p>Kai looked at him. He rubbed his digits together. He really didn't have an option. He didn't really have a clue how to walk. He would have probably gotten hungry soon. And thirsty. He should probably trust this Pikachu - after all, it's not like he has anyone else, right? He could get answers. Maybe it was <em>just </em>a riolu thing.</p><p>Kai nodded.</p><p>"Right!" Pikachu said, bouncing to his feet, "Let's get you up and walking!</p><p>He lowered a paw towards Kai, and Kai haphazardly gripped it. Pikachu strained to pull him up. Pikachu didn't seem to notice his weight this time.</p><p>As Kai got to his feet (or toes) the strangeness rose. Remembering this time that his toes were his feet, Kai pointed his down so his toes were tickled by the grass. His legs were bending at these weird, unnatural angles again. Pikachu must have been trying harder this time, as he darted to Kai's hip, rose to two legs - seemingly as a crutch. He could feel the spidery fur brush against his skin. Kai gritted his teeth. He wished he could get used to this. But it felt so horrible.</p><p>"Lean your paw on my shoulder and put some of your weight on me. "</p><p>Kai did as he was told.</p><p>He was ready.</p><p>he hoped.</p><p>'I'm not ready!' Kai wailed from within his head as he wobbled, nearly knocking Pikachu over. He didn't trust his tongue enough to use it.</p><p>He would put a leg in front then bend the next leg the wrong way. He would try to put it flat on the ground and trip over himself. It was terribly frustrating. He was fighting down the heat. He fought the urge to rub his wrists - he needed his arms to balance and lean, he struggled as it was. He compensated by biting his lip with sharp fangs. They were like foreign objects in his mouth - they littered his gums and sometimes he could feel every single one of them buried deep. Why was everything such a distraction?</p><p>"Why are you finding it so hard to walk?"</p><p>"I thin-k-k-..."</p><p>He sighed.</p><p>"I b-believe th-that I'm sup-p-posed to walk on my f-feet, b-but I-I don't think-k-k-k these legs c-c-c-cah… Are a-able to."</p><p>"Some of us walk on our toes. " Pikachu replied, nonchalantly.</p><p>"I f-figured, " Kai said blankly, "Ev-everything feels like it-it's been sh-shifted, I'm always moving the wrong part."</p><p>"It's so annoying."</p><p>As he slowly hobbled with Pikachu, he finally noticed the colour of the place he was stranded in. It was disgustingly overwhelming, they battered his head. The slanted tree he rested on was the blandest thing there - granted him solace - and he almost missed the green grass he woke up on. Despite the dimming of the sky, Kai's eyes were still struck by the diversity of the flora around him. While in another life he might have appreciated them, it only served to fuel his frustrations. Why did they annoy him?</p><p>As he limped to the taller, grassier outskirts of the clearing he started to bite his lips harder. He dreaded going through the grass. If he was so uncomfortable with his own fur, how would he deal with even longer, more tickly stuff? Everything just served to make him more miserable.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Authors notes:</p><p>I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's a bit longer than others. I'm trying to write them longer now. Please leave reviews, they are really appreciated. While this chapter is a bit slower and lacks action, there will probably be a bit more happening in the next one. Keep posted!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Night time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Night Time</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Everytime Kai thought he was getting used to this new, difficult way of walking something new would reach out to knock him over. He’d reflexively attempted to flatten his feet, feel his muscles tighten and then his balance would fail with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>zap</span>
  </em>
  <span> of discomfort. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lucky for him, Pikachu was a solid object. He wasn’t sure how much more awkward ambling Pikachu could take, however. Despite his confident demeanor, he looked as though he was starting to falter next to Kai’s weight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s uh, getting dark,” Pikachu grunted, “We need to get a move on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-yeah.” Kai replied, uneasily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Self correcting his balance was taking a toll on his mind and body. It turned out that feeling every wobble while focusing on padding on toes was incredibly taxing on his mind. He really wanted to stop. His will to find some sort of answer kept him going. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed </span>
  </em>
  <span>to know something. Anything. He also started to get hungry. A bit thirsty too. Something good had to come his way soon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He narrowed his eyes and kept hobbling. Maybe he’d learn something soon. He narrowed his eyes and kept trudging. It was getting harder.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kai and Pikachu had gotten to the border, almost haplessly. They needed to cross the brambles that littered the ground surrounding the clearing to get into the forest. Kai bit his lip. His fangs still felt out of place. He needed to stop cutting his lip. He really wanted to scratch his ears, but he kept his attention focused forward.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Poke</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kai squeaked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry about that,” Pikachu said, rubbing his head with his free hand “Do you think you could get over these brambles? I wasn’t sure if you’d seen them, I don’t want you falling over them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kai took his own free arm and gave one of his ears a scratch. That felt comforting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh-uhm, I’m n-not s-so sh-sh-sure - I m-mean, I d-don’t thi-think I c-c.. Am able to… uhm--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pikachu held his paw up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I -- understand,” He began, “I’ll try to break it, that should make this easier.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kai was about to interject. He didn’t want Pikachu to hurt himself and get spiked just to help him get to wherever he was going a bit quicker. Before he could get his tongue to cooperate, Pikachu jumped into the air. His tail shimmered a shiny silver, and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>thwapped</span>
  </em>
  <span> the brambles in half with a powerful looking strike complete with a front flip! How the hell…?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“H-how the…?” Kai whispered. He stumbled a bit on his toes. How had he done that? Just what kind of creature was this? It didn’t match anything (not that there was much of a match to begin with) in his head. How had this tiny rat-thing destroyed these brambles with its tail? Kai sighed. He knew so little of anything. He couldn’t even walk properly. And how did he get his tail to shimmer and shine like that? He’d never seen anything like it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pikachu had left his side. He still stood, albeit with the feeling of being on stilts but still he stood nonetheless. It was incredibly awkward - still. He had some more balance than before - to an extent. It didn’t go far. He still wobbled. A lot. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He saw Pikachu pant. There were a few drops of sweat that dripped down his forehead. He looked up at Kai. He looked a little pleased with himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hah! I split it in two! That should clear the path. I’m surprised I broke them!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“R-right.” Kai replied uneasily, “Sh-should we c-c-coh-contin-continue going? D-do you n-need a b-break? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“N--no, we shouldn’t stop now!” Pikachu said with some enthusiasm, “We’ll get there soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pikachu scuttled back to Kai’s side and they continued their trek. It had started to get colder and darker. The night sky had started to fall over the forest clouding everything in a fog of darkness. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kai wished his toes were covered by something -he noted how unpleasant leaves crunching beneath his toes was and he flinched every time he felt a stick crush under his toes. It was as though something was missing. The only thing that actually kept him walking (stumbling) was that Pikachu probably still knew his way to wherever he was taking him. He wasn’t even sure how he would react if they were lost. He didn’t want to spare that thought.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After stumbling around for a while, he felt Pikachu’s ears perk up. At that point, Kai could barely see anything. The night sky had truly overwhelmed his sight, and he could just about see the vague outlines of trees.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kai felt Pikachu leave his side. He felt his body wobble and then sort of right itself. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kai heard a swish below him. Pikachu must have looked up at him - he could see his ears. He could see the figure of Pikachu’s paw pointing in front of him, to Kai’s left. He turned. He squinted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t see much. It just looked like some greyish blobs out in the distance. All he could see were the trees close to him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I live over there, in Galassia town!” He started, “It’s just a short walk away!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kai was relieved at how close their destination was but he still dreaded the continued walk. How could any creature walk with these legs? It was so difficult. Nothing moved where he wanted them to go. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kai sighed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“J-just as l-long as a-as-it-it's… uhmm-- -n-n-not too f-far a-aw-way” Kai replied. He gritted his teeth. That was terrible, much worse that usual.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Was the person to help him already there? How would they know?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kai was confused. He needed to put his mental energy into walking however, so he shoved these thoughts backwards into his head. He saw Pikachu’s ears twitch.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re close, Kai.” Pikachu reassured.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Pikachu dashed back underneath Kai’s arm and Kai hobbled where Pikachu guided him. Kai’s eyes adjusted slightly. He was able to see the borders of little huts, spread out along a dark road. The ground was less uncomfortable to walk on - instead of being crunchy and tickly it was smooth and cold. It felt like a road… of sorts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Not much better.’ Kai thought. ‘Still feels terrible.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They continued to trek with Kai silent complaints. He was tense, frustrated and tired. He needed a break. They were almost there, he didn’t want to delay Pikachu any longer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pikachu directed Kai leftwards. This was another street. How did he know where he was going?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They came up to a large stone building.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This is it Kai, I live, well - above here,” Pikachu pointed out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span> If there were any lights they were  all out. Kai couldn’t make out much, but from the vague blobiness of the other structures he could make out that it was certainly taller than most of the other places along the road. Was Pikachu rich? Pikachu led Kai to a thatched door at the front. Kai ran one of his paws against it. It was coarse and uneven. Kai kept pawing at it. It felt really nice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s unlocked, pull it open,” Pikachu said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kai scanned the door with his eyes. There wasn’t exactly a handle. Would he just have to pull it by one of the holes? He’ll try.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kai tried to close his digits over one of the rungs of the thatched door. He formed a weak grip and pulled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His paw just ran through it, and scratched his paw a bit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t even open a door right. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He felt Pikachu sigh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked at Pikachu, a little betrayed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Even I struggle to open this door at the best of times. I’ll get it open.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pikachu ducked out of Kai’s arm, leaving Kai flailing. He quickly darted to the door, shoved his paws onto the door and ripped it backwards.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t budge.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He ripped it again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It creaked a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gahhh!” Pikachu yelled, yanking the door a final time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It slammed open with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>crunch.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pikachu looked at the door for a few seconds. Kai felt his frustration eb a little. Knowing Pikachu could struggle with something, just like himself gave him a short strand of confidence. Maybe he wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>completely </span>
  </em>
  <span>useless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Finally!” Pikachu hissed, “let’s get you inside.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pikachu helped Kai inside. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He saw pikachu subtly send a jolt of light into a socket by the wall - it triggered lights to come clicking on in the room.  It revealed an expansive layout with wooden tables and chairs that littered the floor. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The floor was of a pristine multi colored tile, messily painted with blue and gold. It was a lot for Kai’s eyes to take in. He eyed a wooden bar filled with different coloured sweets. They looked large and soft, like beans. Wooden Cups and  clay mugs flushed the background of the bar haphazardly stashed and stacked.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kai wondered why Pikachu had brought him to an empty… cafe? It looked like somewhere people ate. Pikachu did mention he lived here. Did he run it? Did someone who works here know something that could help him? His eyes darted around. This wasn’t what he said! There wasn’t anyone else here!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This is the Lucario cafe. The Lucario that runs this place can help you, but she’s not in, it’s closed right now.” Pikachu stated, waving one of his paws,  “But I live in the room upstairs. I don’t suppose you have anywhere to sleep right now. I thought I could let you stay the night until she comes back in the morning.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kai was slightly relieved, but he didn’t want to have to wait another few hours to know what was going on. He wanted to know </span>
  <em>
    <span>now. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He had just walked all this way. His throat started burning, but Kai tried to swallow it down. Not here. Someone owned this place. He didn’t want to break this person’s stuff, he’d need to be a bit more patient. He needed to suppress this rising tension. His fatigue was not aiding his mood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pikachu eyed Kai’s wobbling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you like to sit down? We did walk quite a way.” offered Pikachu.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“O-k-k-kay.” said Kai sharply, squeezing his eyes shut, his frustrations barely hidden. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pikachu led him over to one of the chairs. He stood next to Kai, helped him down to a chair and scuttled off, up the stairs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kai needed to calm himself. He started to rock gently in the chair, scratching his ears. Everything had started to get overwhelming again. He had become tired too, his breaths heavier and his legs aching. His toes felt beaten. Having his weight in the… wrong place had taken its toll on his mind, if not his body. Even though his body itself could do this, it didn’t mean Kai didn’t still feel stretched by striding awkwardly. His fur was still clinging to his skin, a little wet from sweat. It was like he had rolled in mud - it was all caked on, dried and stuck and horrible. He just wanted this to end.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kai watched Pikachu scuttle down the stairs. He saw him frown at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You look really tired. I’ll take you to my room. You can sleep there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kai nodded. He staggered to his toes and wobbled. Pikachu stood next to him. The stairs were behind the bar. They stumbled behind the bar - there was a small opening on its left side that they went through.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The stairs were daunting. There were far too many. They looked rickety and wooden, like they’d break with a single touch. Kai bit his lip. He really wanted to sleep. He also wanted answers. But his body wanted sleep. He was slouching a bit too and his eyelids were sagging. If he could make it up these stairs, he could skip the night and learn something quicker. He needed to know. He also needed to sleep. He’ll crawl up them if he has to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kai crawled up the stairs. Not without difficulty per say, but it was certainly less difficult than walking. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pikachu giggled. Kai hoped it wasn’t malicious. He figured he must have looked strange. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He did thank Pikachu in his head for not bringing attention to it however.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kai continued on his paws and… paws. That was easier. For now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Pikachu guided kai to his room. It was small and had a stash of straw in the middle. Did he sleep on that? It looked incredibly uncomfortable. There was a small window in the top of the room, leading to the night sky. Nothing else was in his room. It was incredibly bland. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This is my bed,” Pikachu said. “You can sleep on it tonight, I’ll take the floor.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Th-thank-k-k y-you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you thirsty? It’s been a long day, and I think you must have been out for a while - uhh - back there.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>All Kai could do was nod. He was certainly thirsty. He hadn’t drunk since… he didn’t know. There was still nothing much in his head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He shuffled onto the straw bed. It was about as comfortable as it looked. The straw was like tiny needles in his skin. It dug into him uncomfortably. He turned about, trying to get some sort of contentement from this. Pikachu had been nice enough to give it to him for the night. He really didn’t want to share how bad this felt with Pikachu. He knew what it felt like to feel rejected. He knew the frustration. He felt it in his mind. He didn’t know of it. He was too tired to really disagree with his bedding anyway. He was sure that if this was any other night, it would probably be impossible to sleep. This day. Too stressful. Too much. Too tired.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was gone in a few seconds.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Pikachu came back up the stairs to see Kai passed out, haphazardly splayed out on the bed. He sighed, put the cup of water next to him and laid on the floor. It had been a long day. A pretty terrible one. Maybe being so nice to this Riolu had evened it out, made him feel better. He’d decide tomorrow. Maybe he’d stick around.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This one was pretty hard to write. Hopefully it’s up to a good standard.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Help</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Help</strong>
</p>
<p>Lucario woke up.</p>
<p>She stretched. She rubbed her eyes and pulled herself from her straw bed. She needed to ready herself for work.</p>
<p>Lucario walked into her pantry. It was somewhat small, but housed enough food just for her. It was next to her bedroom - she liked the easy access. She pulled out some apples and berries, shoved them onto a bowl, chucked them onto a table and munched them. She didn't have enough time to make something more. She needed to be hasty, arriving early for all the adventurers who appeared in her eatery.</p>
<p>She needed to open the cafe. She would offer Pikachu a job <em>again</em>. He would inevitably <em>reject</em>, then she would moan at him to get <em>a job. </em>He wasn't <em>exactly</em> a freeloader, but he wasn't <em>exactly </em>paying her any rent either.</p>
<p>She knew he so <em>wanted </em>to become an adventurer, but all the while he was trying he wasn't getting any money for his room. It wasn't like she <em>needed </em>the money <em>per say, </em>she just didn't want Pikachu staying in the room forever. He needed to do something on his own.</p>
<p>Lucario sighed.</p>
<p>She was in for a tough conversation today.</p>
<p>Kai woke up. He dreamt nothing. Nothing at all. It all went black, then it all became light. He felt the scratch of the straw underneath him. He yelped quietly in shock and scrambled off the bed. How did he lie in that? He must have been extremely tired. His eyes were still slightly blurry and still needed some time to adjust. He rubbed them with his weird paws. They were still a bit blurry, but he could make out Pikachu crumpled next to the pile of straw in what looked to be a terrible position to sleep in. His head was nudged to the side, with his paws splayed to the side. How could anyone sleep like that? Kai turned his head. All he saw was a window - the thing that let the light in. Where was he again? Didn't he get taken somewhere by Pikachu? Right. He was in a tiny room inside a large cafe where someone would apparently help him. He had hoped.</p>
<p>'Maybe no one would come.' He thought nervously.</p>
<p>He scratched his ears. He really ought not to get worked up. He didn't want to wake Pikachu up with a loud outburst.</p>
<p>He pushed himself up shakily and sat up a bit.</p>
<p>Pikachu rolled over. His eyes were still shut. Weird. Was he still asleep?</p>
<p>He heard a creak downstairs. Someone had entered. Was this the helper?</p>
<p>Pikachu still slept. It didn't seem much woke him.</p>
<p>He could hear the door shut. It was soft and careful, as though not to wake someone. Did they already know he was here? Did Pikachu tell them? Kai bit his lip, his fangs digging in a little. He was nervous. He wasn't sure how to react if he saw them. He barely knew Pikachu, he wasn't sure if his mind could cope with another person to interact with. He had enough trouble talking to Pikachu as it was.</p>
<p>He heard some light cluttering of pottery clanging from down the stairs. They'd definitely arrived.</p>
<p>He saw Pikachu stir a little, then stretch. He looked a little battered after sleeping on the ground. Kai couldn't understand how the straw bed could make anyone sleep better.</p>
<p>"Nuugh, she's here? Already?" Pikachu mumbled.</p>
<p>Pikachu got to his feet slowly, raising his paws in the air, stretching vividly.</p>
<p>Kai looked at Pikachu for a second. So the person was a she? That didn't give him much. Not that he had anything to compare anything to. He hoped they were nice. He scratched his boney things.</p>
<p>"I'll go get her Kai," Pikachu yawned, "Wait here."</p>
<p>Kai nodded in Pikachu's direction. He felt too nervous to talk. Meeting someone new was going to be hard. He was a little excited to perhaps learn more about his body and be understand it better</p>
<p>It wouldn't change the fact it was the wrong one.</p>
<p>Pikachu groggily scampered down the stairs. He needed to tell Lady Lucario about this weird Riolu. He knew little to nothing of… her kind. There were very few, if any, Riolus and Lucarios where he lived. Apparently they had their own island somewhere. He had no idea why Lady Lucario even chose to come here. He knew she would probably help. He also knew she hadn't seen another Lucario in years. Maybe that might influence her.</p>
<p>She was setting up the mugs on all the tables when he saw her. They were for all the adventure squads from the local guild ready for them coming in for their morning meal.</p>
<p>"Hey, uh, good morning Lucario." Pikachu said.</p>
<p>Lucario looked up. She hummed at him, carefully putting the mug down onto the table.</p>
<p>"Good morning Pikachu," Lucario replied.</p>
<p>She leaned her hands on the table.</p>
<p>"Do you want to talk about yesterday?" She added.</p>
<p>"Uhh, well… not really but… ahh-,"</p>
<p>Pikachu sighed and looked down. Lady Lucario gave Pikachu a knowing look. She pulled a small chair from underneath the table.</p>
<p>"Sit."</p>
<p>"I understand if you don't want to talk about it Pikachu," She interrupted.</p>
<p>"No, no, it's not about <em>that." </em>Pikachu said, rubbing his paws together.</p>
<p>Lucario smiled at Pikachu.</p>
<p>"Did you meet someone?" Lucario asked, "You know I can sense people's auras through walls right? It's not something you can hide from me."</p>
<p>"I guess you could say I did."</p>
<p>Seeing her wry smile, Pikachu quickly backtracked, shaking his paws in front of his head.</p>
<p>"Not in the way you're thinking of!"</p>
<p>"Right."</p>
<p>She tilted her head.</p>
<p>"No, I brought him here because I think he needs help, and you were the only one I could think of that would know much about him."</p>
<p>"Why would you think that? She replied, an eyebrow raised.</p>
<p>"He's a… uhm, <em>confused </em>Riolu. The only Lucario or Riolu other than him I've seen is you. He really needed some help, so I took him back here and let him sleep the night."</p>
<p>Lady Lucario was taken aback. She had <em>never </em>seen another of her species off the Island before.</p>
<p>Why didn't she sense his aura properly? Was she getting rusty? His aura was… off. It was explosive, vibrantly red and not at all alike to any Riolu she had seen before. Every Riolu from the Island was trained to at least be identifiable. He seemed to lack any control at all which resulted in it screening Pikachu's room in an explosive red light.</p>
<p>She thought he had just been… incredibly excited last night.</p>
<p>Lady Lucario must have been visibly surprised as Pikachu started to look a little worried. Her heart was beating a lot quicker, much more than it had in a long time. What had happened to her kin?</p>
<p>Pikachu had never seen her so anxious before.</p>
<p>Her voice a little shaky, she asked Pikachu what was wrong with him.</p>
<p>Pikachu explained how he seemed to have no memories of anything.</p>
<p>She asked him to come with her to meet this Riolu.</p>
<p>Kai heard the conversation from up in the room. His ears were definitely much more sensitive than he was used to. They seemed to pick up everything and it gave him a headache. The chirps of quiet voices outside scratched the insides of his ears with razors. He itched the bony things and rocked silently. He could almost feel the painful burn in his throat return.</p>
<p>He heard something grind against the ground. He put his paws over his ears. That hurt.</p>
<p>He started counting the grooves in between shoddy wooden planks.</p>
<p>"F-f-five…" He counted. It calmed him slightly. It was subconscious.</p>
<p>He could hear footsteps padding their way towards the door. They were getting louder. He bit his lip some more, fangs sinking in. Why was he so nervous?</p>
<p>The door creaked open.</p>
<p>A stunned looking blue snouted (wolf?) creature walked in with Pikachu who scuttled aside it. Does she know anything about him?</p>
<p>Whatever was showing on her face was cleared quickly.</p>
<p>Seeing the anxiety on his face, she rubbed her arms harshly against her face and shut her eyes.</p>
<p>"Pikachu told me you don't remember anything." Lady Lucario said softly.</p>
<p>Pikachu's ears flickered a little.</p>
<p>Kai stared at Lucario and squinted his eyes. Her body seemed slightly familiar. While he hadn't seen himself before, he knew he was blue, had weird boney things on his wrists and blobby ear things on his head. Was this a bigger… him?</p>
<p>Kai had frozen up. He made a choked noise in the back of his throat, and his tongue flapped uselessly in his mouth. He couldn't speak. A least not properly.</p>
<p>"Y-y-y-ye-ye-es." he squeaked, looking down.</p>
<p>He fiddled with the boney things on his paws.</p>
<p>This simple conversation was becoming too much for him - and it had only just started. He couldn't rationalise anything in his head. It wasn't filled with questions, it was filled instead with the dread of commanding his tongue to work. He couldn't even form sentences.</p>
<p>He was so useless!</p>
<p>Lucario took a step towards Kai. She sensed the blackened orange aura flowing from his body. It showed his lack of self esteem, mixed with his rather vivid frustrations. It completely lacked any normal Riolu's fighting spirit, mischievousness and joy. It was just a black hole of nothingness mixed with an angry red frustration and a yellow tinge of anxiety. It was a wonder he could even string a few words together at all. He should have collapsed like a swollen star by now. Any normal Riolu would have controlled this. He didn't seem to have any clue. At all.</p>
<p>This was dangerous. She needed to get control of this situation. She hadn't seen anything like it. She didn't think the first Riolu she would see since she left the Island would be so empty.</p>
<p>"Wh-why c-c-c… a-am I nnn-n-not a-able t-to r-rem-remember an-any-any-anything?" Kai panicked.</p>
<p>"I cannot say," She replied, "But I will try to find out why. For now, I am going to help you calm down."</p>
<p>Pikachu walked cautiously towards Kai. He put a paw around him, and Kai recoiled slightly.</p>
<p>Kai wanted to feel relieved, but everything was still broken. How would she calm him? What was she going to do? Pikachu's touch wasn't reassuring to him at all. It was like someone was digging their nails into him.</p>
<p>Lucario slowly stepped towards Kai. He backed up (as much as he could comfortably do so on the scratchy hay) and waved his paws in the air at her. His fear felt irrational but true.</p>
<p>She kneeled down in front of Kai.</p>
<p>"I am Lucario, and I <strong>Will </strong>help you," She stated firmly, "But you need to let me help you." She said softly. It sounded kind.</p>
<p>"Can you do that for me?" Lucario beckoned, holding an arm out.</p>
<p>Kai looked up at her. Could this "Lucario" help him? Was he even sure he could trust them? It's not like he could go anywhere else; he barely even got up the stairs in the first place.</p>
<p>He nodded nervously.</p>
<p>"I am going to lightly hold your feelers, is that ok?" Lucario asked tentatively.</p>
<p>"M-m-ma-my w-w-what?" Kai spluttered.</p>
<p>"The things that dangle from the sides of your head."</p>
<p>"Uhm-."</p>
<p>'Feelers?' Kai thought to himself. What did they feel? They seemed so sensitive - especially when he squeezed them. He wasn't going to test it again - it hurt him a lot last time.</p>
<p>"-O-oh-o-k-k-k-ker-ay" He said shakily, rubbing the digits on his paws together while squeezing his eyes shut.</p>
<p>"Hold still, this will not last long."</p>
<p>She lightly grabbed his aura feelers and concentrated. She only had past experiences from having this done to her to go off of. She hadn't seen it done in a long time, but she had confidence in her abilities.</p>
<p>Kai felt soft waves of what he could only describe as calm and relief. He didn't understand what was going on - but his frustrations ebbed and his anxieties seemed to fade. It only lasted for a few seconds, as Lucario quickly pulled her arms back with a look of frustration and fatigue. Whatever she had done must have been exhausting. His momentary clarity was serene. He could actually think without constantly invading thoughts about his condition and lacked the questioning of his ability to talk.</p>
<p>"Thank… you." He wheezed holding his paws up.</p>
<p>He saw Lucario glow blue and red, he saw Pikachu glow purple and pink, everything glowed and shimmered with rainbows of colour. Everything had life. Untill, almost as soon as it started-</p>
<p>-His head split open and his mind was slashed. Whatever light was in the room blinded Kai and Lucario and Pikachu's worried yelps warbled into his head like screeches from a pained banshee. It ripped into his skull until his vision started to oscillate and tear.</p>
<p>He screamed</p>
<p>He fell and he shook. Violently.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This took longer than usual to write. Working out speech tends to be a difficulty for me, so I spent longer getting it right. I think it sounds pretty natural. If it doesn't tell me and maybe I could make it better. I had to rewrite this a lot to get it right.</p>
<p>-My bearded dragon also had this to say: xkmkiop-=#]4865</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Again</strong>
</p><p>Lucario backed off. Did she over do it?</p><p>Her teeth were gritted and tightened together - almost ready to crunch. She was frozen in fear.</p><p>"What- what did you do?" Pikachu asked urgently.</p><p>"I-I tried to suck the frustration… and anger from him. I know how to do it to help the young ones clear their heads, but uh - his aura is not of a Riolu's, nor a young one. I should have seen it- I should have-"</p><p>"Ok… Ok," Pikachu rushed, arms waving, "We need to -uh… keep him safe, stop him from bashing into anything"</p><p>Lucario snapped from her stupor, and much akin to a very surprised robot, she moved across Kai and looked for anything that he could accidentally harm himself with. Still stunned, she plopped herself back behind Kai and put her head in her paws. She started at Kai behind them. Pikachu took this opportunity to rush to the bar. There was a closed sign here somewhere.</p><p>'Kai doesn't need an audience,' Pikachu thought, 'They'll just have to make do with a different place's food.'</p><p>Kai was writhed on the floor, seizing. Whatever she'd done to him had awoken his senses, then obliterated them and overwhelmed his mind with screeching pain. There was too much bright light everywhere and it had hurt. Until nothing. It was all black. There were tiny specs of light flowing all around.</p><p>When he raised an arm to scratch, there was nothing. He looked down. Nothing. He wasn't anything.</p><p>He was inside his head. It was dark and empty. Tiny specs of light surrounded him.</p><p>Until he felt a vibration reverberating across the space that surrounded him.</p><p>All he saw was a behemoth of a dinosaur with smashed gems within its shoulders. Its neck was long. Its eyes glowed a deep yet disturbing purple which sunk into their sockets. The beast's head had a frayed and worn fin. Wings were shredded. The body of the beast oozed bright purple goop, seemingly endless in its escape. He could feel the presence of something truly magnificent yet disgusting and disfigured. All in front of him.</p><p>"Wrong one." It boomed.</p><p>Its mouth didn't open.</p><p>"Dump <em>IT</em> down there."</p><p>Its mouth opened. Its expression didn't change.</p><p>"Wrong one." It echoed</p><p>Its lips were out of sync.</p><p>"There is <em><strong>NOTHING</strong></em> within this <em>one</em>!" It spat ferally, shaking its head, saliva spilling from its frothing mouth, "Bring another!"</p><p>It was incredibly distorted, uneven and it <em>rattled</em>.</p><p>When he awoke his mind was somewhere else. His eyes wearily creaked open, light slowly seeping back into focus. He tried to pull himself up, but he felt a weight pressing his head back down. His mind still shook, and his eyes refused to focus properly.</p><p>"W-w-what… wh-what hapehn-happ-happenedtt?" Kai slurred.</p><p>"We think you had a seizure, Kai." Said Pikachu softly.</p><p>"Do not move - stay down and rest." A femenine voice added, shakily.</p><p>Kai could not connect events together. He went down, closed his eyes, saw weird things then opened his eyes. There was no time in between for him - he had no sense of time when he was out.</p><p>"L-l-let-let m-m-m… m-me g-g.. U-u-u…." He garbled out.</p><p>His mouth wasn't cooperating. Nor was his tongue.</p><p>He tried to scratch the boney things, but his arms felt pained and fatigued. It was as though he'd been bashing against a wall for hours. His whole body felt battered and bruised. He saw Pikachu - mouth open, gaping with eyes wide. Almost shocked. More worried.</p><p>He struggled. He didn't understand. What had happened? Where was he? He could feel his throat burn. He tried to thrash his limbs, try to escape - they barely functioned. He was so tired. He felt a trickle of liquid that flowed from his eyes. He felt at the back of his throat. He took heavier breaths. He was terrified. Why was he being held down? His eyes opened wider and wider. Everything still wobbled.</p><p>Until his stomach wretched, and he spat up a blue glowing stuff from his mouth. It burned his mouth, it burned his tongue, it burned his throat. It was painful. He could feel someone rubbing his back, asking him if he felt all right. It was all tuned out. Everything vibrated and echoed. Pikachu padded over to him. He looked at him with a deep concern. He brushed the back of his paw against the bottom of Kai's mouth and eyes, squinting at one of his eyes momentarily. He got rid of some of the gunk, and gagged when it dripped from his limb.</p><p>Quickly.</p><p>He looked over to him - behind him.</p><p>"Do you know what this horrible goop is that he keeps throwing up?" Pikachu asked.</p><p>"It is excess aura, he seems to be full of it."</p><p>Pikachu hummed.</p><p>"He threw some of this up earlier too. He looked pretty scared."</p><p>"Tends to happen with younger ones. Not to this degree th-." Lucario replied.</p><p>"l-L-LET- m-m-M-m-"</p><p>"In time Kai, but you really ought to rest for now. You can barely string a sentence together." Said Lucario.</p><p>Kai felt an intense desire to sleep. He wanted to get up - Everything blended together - everything grew foggy and his hearing was blurred. His vision echoed. His exhaustion was too much.</p><p>"I n-n-need to-to..." Kai murmured.</p><p>They watched as Kai lost his fight and drifted off again.</p><p>When he came to again, he saw Pikachu sitting next to him snoring softly. One of his ears had folded over his eye - the other was drowsily shut tight. Kai put a paw over his ears and rubbed them. He could barely remember much of what happened. He remembered a vague beast, Lucario holding him down - that was it.</p><p>He was still on the horrible hay bed. The annoying scratch, how could someone bare it? He couldn't ignore it. Always there. He rattled around. His limbs still ached - he remembered that - it made it harder to sit up. He slowly pushed his arms back and tried to lift himself off his back into a sitting position. He panted from exhaustion. Even that was difficult for him. He tilted his head towards the window. He saw the lack of light coming through. He must have been out for a while. It could have been night. How long was he asleep for? His stomach hurt a little. It hadn't been filled in a long time.</p><p>Footsteps.</p><p>He breathed in.</p><p>The door creaked open.</p><p>Kai's mind whirred, it was always wired and cloudy. He almost knew there wasn't anything here to hurt him <em>but </em>what if it was?</p><p>It was Lucario. She had pushed the door open with her foot. Holding a plate of colourful berries - it strained his eyes a little.</p><p>He breathed out.</p><p>"I sensed you were awake. You must be hungry."</p><p>Kai looked up at her. Her eyes were soft, the red in her eyes bright.</p><p>"I- uhm- th-think I-I am." He rasped.</p><p>He hadn't drunk in a while either.</p><p>She smiled and sat down next to him.</p><p>"Great," She hummed, placing the plate in front of Kai, "These taste great, you ought to try one."</p><p>The slight clang made his ears twitch. He scratched an ear and leaned forwards to grasp one. There were small red berries, an odd looking purple berry but the one that caught his eye was this round blue berry.</p><p>She spotted Kai eying it.</p><p>"That is an Oran berry," She said, "They are... fairly sweet and squishy."</p><p>He scooped iit into his paws heavily. He gripped it as tightly as he could. He felt it press inwards in his grip.</p><p>"Try it." She beckoned.</p><p>Pikachu still snored next to him - he was out. He looked down at the weird fruit.</p><p>He raised it to his mouth and took a bite out of the 'oran' berry. It was moist and sweet and delicious. There were so many flavours - he couldn't figure out what it tasted like properly. But it was sweet. And delicious. And it was moist. He took another, albeit more ravenous bite from the berry. And another. He swallowed. Then took another. He took another few berries and cleaned the plate up. It was fantastic. He hadn't eaten anything in so long. It filled him with vigor and vitality. Though his body still ached, he felt a little better. Much better. His mind was still a little fuzzy, but he could focus again - that fruit must have had something in it!</p><p>He looked up at Lucario. He awkwardly smiled in her direction.</p><p>"Th-th-thank-k-ks. They're g-g-great." He exclaimed.</p><p>He took a sharp look at Pikachu. He was still asleep.</p><p>Kai didn't want to wake him - he'd helped him a lot.</p><p>"Do not worry about him Kai - it takes far more to wake him." She smiled, "Though I must ask, are you doing okay? You seized when I-I was- trying to calm you."</p><p>"I-Is that wha-wh-what happ-happened?" He asked, starting to fiddle with his boney things.</p><p>"Yes. When I tried to 'pull' some of the negative aura from you, it seemed to harm you. I must apologise."</p><p>"Uhh- r-right." He replied, "Ac-ac-ac-c-cc-ceepted…"</p><p>He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. He scratched at his ears and bit his lip.</p><p>She nodded at him.</p><p>He tilted his head.</p><p>"Wh-what's aura?" He asked, perking up a little.</p><p>"Wh-what's aura?" The small Riolu asked.</p><p>That surprised Lucario a little. It shouldn't have. Despite <em>knowing </em>having been told by Pikachu that he didn't seem to remember anything, she still found it hard to accept. How would that happen? It's not especially easy to develop amnesia - what had this Riolu gotten himself involved in?<br/>
It's almost an innate knowledge - every single member of her line <em>knew </em>almost instinctively what it was - even if they couldn't give it a name. They could feel and sense the energy - a 6th sense granted to them. She knew other species didn't have a great understanding, only a chosen few perhaps, once in a blue moon <em>maybe</em>. But how did he not even have any control at <em>all</em>? The aura that seeped from his pores, his eyes, his <em>mouth</em> even! It was unnatural. Like his aura wasn't - right. Unattuned to his body almost. She just was unsure how to remedy the solution. She could express her thoughts, but that would only increase the vividity of his frustrations and fear. She needs to maintain calm - keep the aura from building up to levels beyond his body's ability to contain. She'll give an explanation one would give to young ones - he didn't seem too old. He was still fairly small - perhaps stunted. She couldn't even begin to understand how one with so little knowledge on their own body could even survive long at all - especially away from The Island. He didn't even have an identifiable aura - she just checked how vivid it was. And it usually was <em>quite </em>vivid.</p><p>Kai looked at her. She had been staring at him for a while, unmoving and a little… scary. Had he upset her?</p><p>"Uhm…" He trailed off.</p><p>"Sorry, I was taken by my thoughts," She said, rubbing her face.</p><p>"Aura is the energy found in all beings," She explained, "Our species can sense it…"</p><p>She gave a motion towards her eyes.</p><p>"It was how I knew you were awake. Your aura flared."</p><p>Kai hummed. He scratched at his wrist.</p><p>"Do you see living things glow, or light up or perhaps - change colour?"</p><p>"N-no… n-not really." He replied.</p><p>Was he supposed to? Was he broken? He did have a vague memory of glowing colours, perhaps before he passed out, but were they real? Were they imagined? He was far too anxious to speak. Was he broken? Was that why he couldn't remember anything?</p><p>"Perhaps… I could help you get a feel for it. It isn't… Necessarily unheard of, being unable to sense it, but uhm… somewhat rare." she stumbled, scratching the back of her head.</p><p>Kai gave her a small nod and looked down, rubbing his digits through each other.</p><p>"We can also manipulate aura, a little like this." She said, brightly.</p><p>She rubbed her paws together and a stern look of concentration drew across her face. afterwards, raised a paw in front of him. She had her eyes closed.</p><p>We glanced in awe as a spherical ball of dazzling light slowly fizzled over her outstretched right paw. It was chaotic yet perfect, whiteness in the centre glazed with a striking blue.</p><p>"<em>This</em> is how you wake Pikachu up."</p><p>Kai uneasily looked at Pikachu.</p><p>She ungracefully took to her feet, rose her left arm - to aim - and chucked it with vigor at Pikachu.</p><p>"Gahhhhh!" He cried.</p><p>Kai smiled. He giggled.</p><p>He felt a lot better now. He stopped rubbing his wrists, just for a single moment - he felt a little at eaze.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I kind of burned out after the last chapter, so while I'm not necessarily going to take a break, I'm going to release chapters a little more slowly - I put the length in the description. It'll give me more time to plan out what I'm going to write next, as well as give me more of a chance to breathe and make longer chapters, which I know I need to do. I might come back to this chapter in particular, but I think it's fairly decent. It adds something extra to Kai's backround perhaps and gives some extra development and stuff idk.</p><p>Next chapter more things are gonna happen, like doing things maybe.</p><p>I read this over a few times and it sounded ok, but if you see anything bad just tell me.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Wrong reflection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wrong Reflection</p>
<p>"What was that for!" Pikachu exclaimed.</p>
<p>"A demonstration." Lucario smirked.</p>
<p>Pikachu growled as he rubbed his head. "Please don't do that again." He murmered.</p>
<p>Lucario merely smirked.</p>
<p>Kai couldn't feel the tickle of his fur lining his body anymore, the twitch of his ears nor his odd shaped limbs. He felt outside of the moment, if only briefly. The food had eased his stomach, and his mind - in a way. It brought him elsewhere. And the brief giggle when Lucario tossed the sphere of energy at Pikachu made his head feel softer and lighter and gave him a pause from his discomfort. It felt nice to sit there for a second without the constant onslaught of unwanted sensations. He knew it wouldn't last very long though. Nice feelings tend not to last very long. They usually just faded. Thinking about anything tended to simply circle back to his awkwardness and the weird body he inhabited. It just left him feeling a little confused.</p>
<p>He focused on the confident Lucario standing near him. He zoomed into her face, the features, the blood red eyes and the long snout. He saw the blobby feelers and pointy ears.</p>
<p>'Is that really what I look like?' He wondered.</p>
<p>It didn't click for him - nothing seemed to - there was nothing within himself to anchor onto. Whatever he looked like had left his mind. There wasn't a clear picture. Whenever he tried there just wasn't anything to go by.</p>
<p>He felt a small weight fall upon his shoulder. He flinched unwittingly, and spun around to meet Lucario's gaze, her paw clasping his shoulder.</p>
<p>"Let us take a trip downstairs - you cannot stay here forever." She urged gently.</p>
<p>He caught the woozy stare from Pikachu. Despite being seemingly a little out of sorts, he nodded dizzily in agreement.</p>
<p>Kai rocked a little, his fur standing on end. He'd go with it.</p>
<p>"Y-yeah. Th-that c-c-could be a-a good idea." He muttered, looking down.</p>
<p>He saw her smile. It was genuine.</p>
<p>"Well," she exclaimed, "Up you get!"</p>
<p>She dug her paws under his shoulders, and yanked him up. Kai squeaked in surprise. He felt the floor shakily with his toes and whipped his arms out to balance himself.</p>
<p>"My sleep schedule is going to be so screwed." Pikachu sighed.</p>
<p>"You too Pikachu, it is not as though you actually have a job or anything," She teased, stressing the 'job'. "You can help me prepare something for tomorrow."</p>
<p>"Fine."</p>
<p>Kai whimpered at the stairs and scratched at the bones in his wrist. He stood and wobbled, with the sturdy Lucario hanging above him. Pikachu had already dashed down the stairs - he beckoned him down with flicks of his paws.</p>
<p>Lucario bent over his ear and cupped her paw:</p>
<p>"Just slide down." She whispered.</p>
<p>Kai nodded slowly and bit his bottom lip. That was probably better than tripping and hurting himself.</p>
<p>After sitting on his tail, squealing and wrenching his toes, he slid to the bottom hands uneasily by his sides.</p>
<p>'Uncomfortable, but more comfortable than the straw bed.' He thought.</p>
<p>Lucario couldn't help but smirk with sad eyes - her arms folded. She was amused, yet concerned. The first of her species she had met in a long time had no idea of what he was, of what they were and had the coordination of a toddler. She'll get to the bottom of this - she had to. There weren't any others to do it for her. As far as she knew, there weren't any others.</p>
<p>"Are you coming too Lucario?" Croaked Pikachu.</p>
<p>She ran her paw through her face with a sign and followed Kai's descent.</p>
<p>Pikachu stuck a paw into the socket and the lights sparked life in the cafe. It lit up</p>
<p>Lucario, who Kai leaned on - who seemed to wobble and trip over his feet every few steps. He found it incredibly infuriating - his sense of balance decided to fall out of his head every time he took a step - he had to ball his fists together and squeeze them tight to contain his frustration. While he wasn't exactly exhausted his legs still felt like stone.</p>
<p>He was sure that wasn't normal.</p>
<p>They never did what he wanted them to do, and when they did, he moved the wrong bit the wrong way. He chewed on his lip, almost drawing blood. He felt the tension In his head - throat beginning to burn. It was just about tolerable.</p>
<p>They slowly ambled to the bar - the short distance was a slog, feeling far longer than it should have. Pikachu darted back from the front door to catch up to them.</p>
<p>"Bring a stool to the bar, Pikachu." Said Lucario.</p>
<p>Kai heard Pikachu mutter under his breath and saw the subtle roll of his eyes. He felt an ear twitch at the sound of Pikachu. It made him shudder.</p>
<p>He felt a judging eye on him and saw Lucario look away from him. Did he do something wrong?</p>
<p>Lucario hummed back at Pikachu - it was an acknowledgement.</p>
<p>"Lean against the bar until he brings the stool for you to sit on, I need to go round to the back of the bar and get some utensils, " She said,</p>
<p>"We need to prepare for tomorrow - I'm going to reopen - my employees need to work."</p>
<p>He felt stuck with his arms over the bar.</p>
<p>"SCREACH!"</p>
<p>Kai's ears flicked and twitched.</p>
<p>He saw Lucario give something a sharp look behind him - the floor stopped shrieking straight away.</p>
<p>"Sorry…"</p>
<p>Kai turned his head to look behind him and saw Pikachu sheepishly and awkwardly carrying a stool - which looked far too big for him to carry - to him.</p>
<p>He dumped it next to him with a sigh.</p>
<p>"Thank-k-ks." Kai murmured.</p>
<p>"Don't mention it pal."</p>
<p>Kai struggled up the stool, almost tipping it over in the process. His legs dragged under him as he tried to pull himself up and the stool slipped. Pikachu jittered across him in an attempt to help him up - Kai subtly brushed him away with his foot He wanted to do it himself - he had to prove to himself he could do something. He could do this, right?</p>
<p>To his own surprise, he pulled himself onto the stool.</p>
<p>He sat valiantly at his effort.</p>
<p>Lucario just cocked an eyebrow.</p>
<p>Lucario rattled underneath the bar. Kai cringed, his ears wriggled from the overstimulation.</p>
<p>He heard Lucario sigh. The rattling quieted.</p>
<p>He heard Pikachu pull up another stool from behind him (far more quietly this time) and plonked it beside him. He jumped on it neatly.</p>
<p>It made Kai scratch his wrists. How did he do that so easily?</p>
<p>Annoying.</p>
<p>"So uhh, Kai." Pikachu started.</p>
<p>Kai looked at him.</p>
<p>"I was thinking earlier. Do you know what you look like?" Pikachu asked.</p>
<p>Kai simply stared at him - though not looking at him- his eyes open wider than usual and off to the side, unfocused. Pikachu carried a wide eyed expression.</p>
<p>"I just thought that since you didn't know what you were-" Pikachu added.</p>
<p>"N-no." Kai replied sharply, his voice crackling a little. He was still so unsure. He rubbed his digits together and licked the corner of his lips and kicked his legs out a little and flicked his wrists and Pikachu could have sworn he saw his eye glow and-</p>
<p>Lucario popped her head back up.</p>
<p>"I have a mirror at home," Lucario suggested, "I'll bring it round, why don't you talk about something more… light Pikachu?"</p>
<p>"S-sure." Pikachu said.</p>
<p>Lucario got to her feet and walked - somewhat quickly - to the end of the cafe and shoved the door aside with a crack.</p>
<p>Kai's twitchs slowed a little - "What do I look like?" seemed to dominate his head space amongst the other oddities swimming around. He rubbed his ears a little and wobbled on his chair.</p>
<p>Kai was quietly happy, yet also nervous. What would he look like? Would it help him remember who he was?</p>
<p>Pikachu rubbed the back of his head. His ears dangled and flopped. Should he have asked that? It made him go… all weird. He saw how Kai's emotions receeded - his facial expressions smoothen out, and he'd seen his twitching slow and saw the glow in his eyes faintly dissolve. What was he thinking?</p>
<p>They both waited quietly. Pikachu rubbed his head. What did he have to talk about to someone who doesn't know anything? Maybe he could tell him about the guild? Perhaps he would find that interesting - he knew that from experience - he was always exited to hear of stories of fantastical adventures and the wacky oddities, though it never filled him with confidence in himself when they were all about massive beasts of pokemon.</p>
<p>Kai glanced at Pikachu's face. It was deep in thought.</p>
<p>"You know, Kai, I was having an awful day before I found you" Pikachu stated matter of factly.</p>
<p>"R-really?" Kai asked, "I honest-honestly th-thought you w-were a little upbeat"</p>
<p>"No," Pikachu sighed, "It was just a front to make you feel better."</p>
<p>Pikachu glanced across Kai.</p>
<p>"Did it work?" He asked.</p>
<p>"M-maybe?" Kai replied as he fiddled with his paws.</p>
<p>Pikachu hummed.</p>
<p>"When you get rescued by someone in the guild, they always look so glad… just to have done so," he explained, holding his paws wide, "There's always this sense of confidence that just radiates from them."</p>
<p>Kai stared at Pikachu for a second. His brain seemed to always process words a little slowly.</p>
<p>Before he could nod, Pikachu continued:</p>
<p>"And everytime I've tried to get involved - to help people because I genuinely want to! " he spat,</p>
<p>"They never share that same confidence with me."</p>
<p>Kai acknowledged him with a stammer.</p>
<p>"I even got shown up by the new guy."</p>
<p>Pikachu wiped his face with his hands, wringing out his ears.</p>
<p>"Apparently he's a human - not even one of us." he moaned as he pointed at Kai and himself, "And it's like even he's in on the joke."</p>
<p>Before Kai could splutter up an answer, the door cracked again.</p>
<p>"I've got it!" Lucario announced.</p>
<p>Kai tried to scramble off his stool.</p>
<p>"I'll bring it over to you - don't get down." She advised.</p>
<p>"R-right."</p>
<p>Lucario jogged over to Kai, and handed him a small handled mirror surrounded by blue and black gemstones. He carefully gripped it tight with both paws, careful not to let it slip out of his grasp. He noticed Pikachu lean slowly towards him and Lucario tilting her head. Her face was serious.</p>
<p>He slowly raised the mirror towards his face.</p>
<p>He opened his mouth. He clamped it shut. He tilted his head left. He tilted it to the right. This… odd… thing copied his movements. Was it him? This must be him - right? It did everything he thought he did. He saw how a snout poked out from his face. He gaped his mouth again, noticing the curved fangs that dotted his mouth. One of his eyes was a deep, dark red - the other eye was a striking green.</p>
<p>'Why are they so different, so weird?' He asked himself.</p>
<p>His fur was mainly blue - though he knew that already. He got a better look of those blobby things, they were like enormous ears that dangled beneath his head. His actual ears were like small dog's, little pyramids above his face.</p>
<p>He showed his fangs. He smiled. He frowned.</p>
<p>Yep. It was definitely him.</p>
<p>This was so freaky.</p>
<p>No matter how much he dug, there wasn't anything in his mind that actually matched this. It was all so confusing. He stole a glance at Pikachu. Pikachu's paws were out, almost anticipating his fall, ready to catch him if he freaked out.</p>
<p>He didn't notice his throat burning. Kai saw a faint glow in his eyes - his green eye dazzled- his red demonic. His breaths grew heavy. He sensed his heart racing. He rubbed and scratched at his ears, watching them wiggle and flinch in the mirror - seeking comfort.. He could see Lucario striding towards him in the glass. He felt it coming on.</p>
<p>Lucario swept over. She gently pulled the mirror out of his hands and faced him. She looked pained. She picked him up underneath the shoulders and sat on the ground, Kai over her shoulder, careful not to jab him with her chest spike.</p>
<p>Kai needed something to wrap his arms around, he needed comfort. He couldn't contain his feelings anymore - they were about to pour out, unfiltered.</p>
<p>Lucario knew.</p>
<p>The tears came first. Then the sobbing.</p>
<p>Pikachu padded over and hugged Kai.</p>
<p>Lucario rubbed his back. He needed help.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Did I say 2 weeks?</p>
<p>I'd like to apologise for how late this was. I was finding it hard to get words onto the page and had college work to finish and stuff. While I can't promise to upload really quickly, I still like the story and the direction is set. I don't think I'm going to be able to be incredibly consistent, sorry to disappoint. Lock down really killed my ability to sit down and do things like this lol.</p>
<p>Also fun fact the name of this chapter is actually what this story was going to be called. I think the current one fits the idea of the story better though.</p>
<p>Sorry about short chapter size and hiatus, again, it felt necessary considering what was going on and stuff. I'll try to have longer chapters and stuff but I can't promise anything.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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